{"id":6588,"date":"2018-08-13T12:27:14","date_gmt":"2018-08-13T20:27:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cslewis.org\/blog\/?p=6588"},"modified":"2018-08-16T12:30:37","modified_gmt":"2018-08-16T20:30:37","slug":"a-word-of-grace-august-13-2018","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cslewis.org\/blog\/a-word-of-grace-august-13-2018\/","title":{"rendered":"A Word of Grace – August 13, 2018"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Dear Friends,<\/p>\n

Two weeks ago, I shared the sad news of the death of my wife, Patty. Last week, I shared where I take faith from Scripture in dealing with death and grief.<\/p>\n

I assure you that I do not intend to dwell on these subjects. Today\u2019s message is about a surprising, but healing conversation with an auto club tow truck driver. He came to my driveway with anxious thoughts and I was raw and open with sorrow. The Lord, in his loving kindness led both of us to a better place.
\n. . .<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy won\u2019t this blasted key work?\u201d<\/p>\n

I am trying to load up my wife\u2019s Honda CRV with some household items to donate to a local thrift store. It is a hot afternoon.<\/p>\n

I am fatigued with grief at Patty\u2019s unexpected death and the effort to make sense of the life that I am suddenly living alone after 42 years.<\/p>\n

For some reason, I think the battery in the electronic key is kaput, but when I manually open the door and get in, I discover the car battery is completely drained.<\/p>\n

That isn\u2019t surprising since the little SUV is eleven years old with only 13,500 miles on it. The vehicle sits in the driveway a lot and that is hard on a battery. I give the Honda factory battery an A+ for making it this long.<\/p>\n

So I call AAA. On the same day that Patty died, my wallet was taken and I don\u2019t have a replacement Auto Club card yet. I have to explain to the dispatcher that I am using Patty\u2019s card.<\/p>\n

Then I wait for the tow truck to arrive. And wait! The temperature is 104 degrees and the heat seems to stretch the time.<\/p>\n

Finally, the truck pulls up and the driver gets out \u2013 a nice-looking Hispanic young man with a warm, friendly smile. \u201cJoey\u201d is the name on his uniform patch.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the problem?\u201d he asks.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis battery is dead. The car won\u2019t turn over at all and all electrical systems are down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll test the battery and the alternator,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am telling you the battery is done and there aren\u2019t enough miles on this car for the alternator to wear out, but go ahead and do what you have to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am really tired,\u201d he says as he hooks up the cables. \u201cI didn\u2019t get much sleep last night and I went to church this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

Do I really want to have this conversation?<\/p>\n

It is safer to ask about church than the lack of sleep. \u201cWhere do you go to church?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI go to the Catholic church on the corner of McKinley and Magnolia.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s Corpus Cristi \u2013 I know that church.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I\u2019ve come back to the church. I have a short fuse that I am trying to control. Learning to pray helps.
\nAnd I am getting married in two weeks \u2013 that\u2019s why I\u2019m not sleeping much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d I say, \u201cCongratulations! Getting married is a good thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope it is! I want it to be perfect, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was married for 42 years. My wife passed away ten days ago. But we were happy and I have no regrets. I just miss her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I am only telling you because I know from experience that marriage can be happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI need to go get a battery for you. I don\u2019t have one on the truck.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease do — that\u2019s what I want.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be back in fifteen minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK.\u201d<\/p>\n

Off he goes.<\/p>\n

I sit behind the steering wheel of the vehicle to wait. The sun beats down. I leave the door open to catch whatever breeze that may blow through.<\/p>\n

Working harder and keeping busy is how I have always handled grief and disappointment. I have been packing up, cleaning and fixing things for the past week. Taking a breather is not how I planned to spend the afternoon.<\/p>\n

Everything is a blur right now. Tears come unexpectedly as I come across things that trigger memories.
\nThoughts and plans for the future are on hold as just getting through the days and nights proves challenging.<\/p>\n

Death eliminates choices. I have unfortunately faced the death of close loved ones before. I know that there is no way around the valley of the shadow. Step by step, prayer by prayer, one just keeps walking, metaphorically speaking.<\/p>\n

The driver returns with the battery. He gets out of the truck talking as if he\u2019d never left.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, I am not getting much sleep because I\u2019m worried about getting married.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, why is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want it to be perfect. But I have this really short fuse. I really try, but I get so impatient. I told you prayer is helping me, but I still blow up. I don\u2019t want my fianc\u00e9e to deal with that. We\u2019ve been together six years and she has helped me. I don\u2019t want to hurt her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat triggers your temper? I mean, what sets you off?<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. When I say something and someone doesn\u2019t get it \u2013 well, I really don\u2019t like to explain myself.\u201d
\n\u201cThat I understand. I had the same problem. I was arrogant and couldn\u2019t wait for others to understand where I was going or how I was going to get there.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t like to explain myself. But that was my problem, not theirs. My wife helped me to see that. She loved me, but she didn\u2019t put up with my nonsense.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019d look me in the eye and say, \u201cI love you, but you are better than this and you need to think. She was right.<\/p>\n

\u201cI slowly learned that thinking was the part of the cure to my harsh reactions, but something more is necessary. You need to think about what triggers you and train yourself to pause when it happens, take a deep breath and pray, \u2018Lord, take over. I will follow your lead.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cJust ask God to take over. People will tell you the three key things to do, or the five steps to conquering your temper. I know from experience that trying to beat your anger on your own won\u2019t work.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly yielding to God will do it. He is real and he will do it. Pride gets us into the mess; God gets us out of it. Just breathe and pray, \u2018Lord, take over. I will follow your lead\u2019 and leave it there. Jesus died on the cross for us. He now lives for us. He will do what I am telling you. You have to trust him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joey was standing beside the front of the SUV. He had the old battery out and the new one in place, but he had stopped working and was listening intently.<\/p>\n

\u201cI like what you are saying, but I am just so anxious that my marriage won\u2019t be perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cListen,\u201d I said. \u201cAs long as you are seeking a perfect marriage, you are going to lose your temper and be angry a lot. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. What you want is a good marriage.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe keys to a good marriage are praying together and talking to each other. You have to communicate about everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re talking about keeping the line of communication open.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s hard for me. I bottle everything up inside. I can\u2019t say what I really feel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s your fianc\u00e9e\u2019s name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIsabel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you love Isabel?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. Of course”.<\/p>\n

“If you love her, you need to trust her. I was married for a happy 42 years and I learned that I had to trust Patty. I could not do life on my own or even manage marriage.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe talked all the time and we talked about everything. Every night before we went to sleep we told each other, \u201cI love you.\u201d She told me once, \u2018You have never missed telling me you loved me.\u2019<\/p>\n

My voice is choking a bit and tears are leaking. This is supposed to be a battery exchange, isn\u2019t it? But I go on.<\/p>\n

\u201cForgive each other. You are in marriage for life. Don\u2019t hang on to anger or leave resentment to harden. Telling Isabel, \u201cI love you,\u201d will soften your heart also. Soft hearts are important in a marriage. Don\u2019t leave her guessing how you feel. Don\u2019t leave her hurting.<\/p>\n

\u201cWorking at a hospital, I see families all the time who don\u2019t say what they think and feel until it\u2019s too late and their loved one is on life support. Then they can\u2019t make the decisions they need to make because they hope, \u2018If we can just keep them breathing a while longer, we can have the conversation.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it doesn\u2019t happen. Then everyone is stressed and in agony for much longer than they should be — and for nothing. Get said what needs to be said and leave nothing for later. Tell the people you love, \u2018I love you,\u2019 every day. You will have no regrets if you do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I want,\u201d Joey says. \u201cMy parents have been married 27 years and they\u2019ve had \u2018issues.\u2019 My brother is angry too. He\u2019s an addict. They last time we were together he left me with a black eye. He\u2019s in rehab now.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoey, you are on the right track. You can see how others have acted badly and know that you don\u2019t want to do the same thing. As long as you can see the difference, you can live the difference. With God\u2019s help, you don\u2019t have to be like them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI like talking to you, you know. You\u2019ve given me a lot to think about. Thanks for the advice.\u201d He is clamping down the battery now.<\/p>\n

\u201cI checked your alternator. It\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

I turn the key and the engine starts right up. I give Joey the thumbs up sign and turn the engine off.<\/p>\n

We lean over the flat bed of his truck to complete the paperwork. I sign where Joey points and we are done, but not quite.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs it all right if I pray for you?\u201d I ask him.<\/p>\n

He is startled, but he sees my smile. After a moment he says, \u201cYes. I\u2019d like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

I put my hand on his shoulder.<\/p>\n

\u201cDear Heavenly Father, thank you for your love and kindness to us. Please give Joey peace and bless him and Isabel in their wedding and marriage. Let them rest in your love and fill their house with the spirit of your love and forgiveness. Keep them talking and sharing always. Heal Joey\u2019s temper. Heal his brother\u2019s addiction and anger. Flood their lives and their home with your grace and keep them close to you always. Give them the happiness that Patty and I had for all the years of our marriage. Amen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tears are streaming down both our faces when I finish, but we are smiling. I don\u2019t think I will ever see another auto club guy cry like that! I give him a big hug.<\/p>\n

I go back to my chores after Joey drives away. My broken heart received some sutures of grace to start its healing. The life and love that Patty and I shared lives on and that makes me really glad.<\/p>\n

\u201cLord,\u201d I whisper. \u201cWould you really give a battery eleven years of life just to get me to talk with Joey in my driveway this afternoon? I believe you would. Thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cO taste and see that the Lord is good. Happy are those who take refuge in him\u201d (Ps 34:8).<\/div>\n
\n

Under the mercy of Christ,<\/p>\n

Kent<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Please note that the content and viewpoints of Mr. Hansen are his own and are not necessarily those of the C.S. Lewis Foundation. We have not edited his writing in any substantial way and have permission from him to post his content.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2013<\/p>\n

\"KentKent Hansen is a Christian attorney, author and speaker. He practices corporate law and is the managing attorney of the firm of Clayson, Mann, Yaeger & Hansen in Corona, California. Kent also serves as the general counsel of Loma Linda University and Medical Center in Loma Linda, California.<\/p>\n

Finding God\u2019s grace revealed in the ordinary experiences of life, spiritual renewal in Christ and prayer are Kent\u2019s passions. He has written two books,\u00a0Grace at 30,000 Feet and Other Unexpected Places<\/em>\u00a0published by Review & Herald in 2002 and\u00a0Cleansing Fire, Healing Streams: Experiencing God\u2019s Love Through Prayer<\/em>, published by Pacific Press in spring 2007. Many of his stories and essays about God\u2019s encompassing love have been published in magazines and journals. Kent is often found on the hiking trails of the southern California mountains, following major league baseball, playing the piano or writing his weekly email devotional, \u201cA Word of Grace for Your Monday\u201d that is read by men and women from Alask<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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